


Cigarette smoke

by Squidbitch



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Cigarettes, M/M, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 04:46:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16055843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidbitch/pseuds/Squidbitch
Summary: and Juno craves. He craves the long nights where he and Ben would find something, and they'd both be so curious. It brings back memories of pills crushed on a rickety table, and pushed neatly into a line. A needle in his arms like an IV, giving him life. The drag is long and drawn out. It feels like an abyss calling to him.





	Cigarette smoke

There's violent coughing coming from the bathroom. Juno just got home after a boring day at the office. Nothing to do but let Rita watch her streams and pretend to care that she was doing it in the first place. Then he smells it. Cigarette smoke. 

He walks over to the bathroom, which is open wide and has his boyfriend coughing his lungs out, and holding a cigarette. 

“What the hell?” Juno says, not bothering to hide his anger. 

Peter tries to fight down more coughs, and looks at Juno with delight on his face. “Juno, darling. I came a home a few days early. Are you happy to see me?” 

“Not happy to see you smoking in my apartment, that's for damn sure!” he says, snatching the cigarette out of his hands, and analyzing it. “Is-Is it laced? I swear to God, Nureyev, if you brought drugs in my home-”

“Oh nothing of the sort, darling!” He assures him. 

“What- why in the hell are you even smoking? Didn't peg you for the addiction type.” Juno asks. He doesn't seem so upset about thinking that Peter has an addiction. “And by the way you were coughing, it seemed like it was…” Juno looks at the cigarette in his hand. “Oh, you were doing it to prep. For a job.”

Peter nods happily. “Glad to see we're all caught up. Now I promise I won't smoke in your apartment anymore, dear.” he waits for Juno to say something. To get angry at him, or reprimand him. But he doesn't. He just stands still in front of him. Then

Juno brings it to his lips. For a second Peter doesn't do anything. He just stares wide eyed at Juno with confusion. He breathes in the smoke. He has to admit that Juno looks quite good like this. His fingers to his plump lips, looking at the thing in his hand like it held the secret to a mystery. His head tilted so that his jaw is accentuated by the light scars. 

He expects Juno to start coughing like he did, but he doesn't. 

Juno breathes it in and  _god_  just the feeling of it between his fingers it so enticing that it hurts. The motion itself of bringing it to his lips feels addictive in itself, and Juno craves. He craves the long nights where he and Ben would find something, and they'd both be so curious. It brings back memories of pills crushed on a rickety table, and pushed neatly into a line. A needle in his arms like an IV, giving him life. The drag is long and drawn out. It feels like an abyss calling to him. 

He holds it in his lungs for as long as he can until he breathes it out. He looks at the cigarette in his hand, and chews on the inside of his cheek. God, he misses it. He misses it bad enough that his hand is pressing it to his lips again before consulting his brain. 

“... Juno?”

The said man looks up at his partner just as he blows out a plume of smoke. “Yeah?”

Nureyev bites his lip like he isn't sure what he's going to say next. “I didn’t know you knew your way around something like this.”

Juno looks at whats in his hand. He craves bad enough that his mind is coming up with all sorts of reasons why he should but he knows he won't. “Yep.” He pops the p. “I stopped when I turned 34, but…” He looks at it. He knows that if he started smoking again he would use that as an excuse to start getting high and popping pills and he's worked too hard to get away from all that to spoil it now. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

Peter takes it from Juno's hand, and throws it in the trash. 

“But you-”

“Can find other ways.” Peter says. Juno looks disappointedly at the line of curling smoke coming from the trash. Nureyev puts a hand on Juno's cheek to steer him away from looking at it. “Smoke breaks at a posing job is fine, but I'm sure I can arrange something else.” 

Juno grits his teeth. Part of him-that 17 year old kid part of him that needs something to do that makes him feel better- wants to argue. Part of him tells himself that he won't go down that slippery slope again. That its just cigarettes and he can control himself. But that part of him that's here in the present knows better. He knows his limitations, and he's trying now. He's trying to be better, and part of that is knowing what's healthy for him. He's trying to be healthy. Maybe the easier thing to do would be to just go out and buy a stupid carton, but being better isn't always about doing the easy thing. More often than not it's about doing the thing that doesn't seem super appealing. The payoff in the end will be worth it. He knows that. So as tempting as it is, he actively rejects the enchanting smoke of a cigarette. 

“Thanks.”

Peter smiles winningly, like he succeeded at something. “Now, my love, wouldn't you love to tell me about the case you've just gotten back from?”

Juno feels hope cradle in his chest. He almost can't stop a smile from sliding onto his face, but he tries anyways. “Sure.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are hella appreciated.


End file.
